The Occult Bot

When Death Visits A Jewish Home Part 5

75. Offer comfort based on the general message that “to comfort the bereaved is a mitzvah.” Jewish law does not provide detailed instruction on how to do this. Rabbinic commentary on the passage Genesis 25:11 says that just as God comforted Isaac in his bereavement after the death of his father Abraham, you must do likewise for the bereaved in your community

76. Be alert and sensitive when comforting the bereaved. Particular circumstances provide opportunities for acts of kindness beyond what is mentioned here.

77. Help to prepare and/or deliver a Meal of Condolence or any meal for the grieving family during shiva. A meal for Shabbat eve may be particularly welcome.

78. Attend the funeral and, if possible, the burial. Your presence means a lot to the family and friends of the deceased.

79. Give tzedakah in honor of the deceased. Often the family will specify a charity to which they would like you to give. There is certainly no lack of choice.

80. Realize the giving of flowers, since they are short lived, is discouraged by Jewish custom. Flowers are not permitted at funerals that take place in some synagogues.

81. Offer child care to the grieving family. This can be a particularly welcomed gift for the family at this difficult time.

82. Send a letter or card of condolence. Express whatever thoughts your heart prompts.

83. Visit the mourners where they are “sitting shiva.” whether to be present as part of a minyan at services or just to be company. There are some guidelines for making “shiva calls” found below.

84 Call or go to the house of the bereaved during the period between the death and the funeral only if you are a very close friend. Your expression of sympathy will also be appreciated after that time.

85. Consider that tradition asks you to allow the mourner to initiate greetings when you visit during shiva. Say only what you mean sincerely if you do offer words of comfort or compassion,

86. Understand that you are not required to say anything when you visit during shiva. Your presence, as yourself and as a member of the community, is enough. The thoughtful support that your visit implies is of utmost value to those who are bereaved. It reminds and encourages them to return from the “valley of the shadow of death” to life and joy.

87. Accept that mourners must now begin to create for themselves a “new normal.” Your compassionate presence can help them grieve and recover.

Rabbi Mel Glazer is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist who can help you navigate these difficult waves of emotion. He has served pulpits in the United States, Canada, and Johannesburg, South Africa. Feel free to call upon him for guidance when making difficult decisions. He is also available to officiate at funerals for your loved ones anywhere in America. His phone number is 1.877. LECHAIM. (1.877.532.4246)

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